Summary: Tim Grover, coach of elite athletes like Kobe Bryant, Charles Barkley, and Dwayne Wade. The man behind Micheal Jordan “Flying” shares in this book what he thinks are the 13 key elements that make the difference between the average, top and iconic players.

The author organized his book into 13 rules, calling them THE RELENTLESS THIRTEEN. No rule is more important than the other one, in the book, all rules are marked as number one. It’s all or nothing.

#1.1 Keep Pushing yourself harder when everyone else has gad enough

Teach your mind to train your body. Teach it to trust it.

• No options. Show up Every day. Work hard every day. Push yourself past apathy, laziness, and fear every single day. Even if it’s smth you don’t wanna do but you know should do, DO IT. Because if not, you will create a mess, a mental barrier along the physical barrier.
• Hard things are all the things you know have to do in order to reach your goal, but can be tempted to skip because of physical effort demanded, laziness or fear.
• The body has limitations, the mind does not. But the mind can very easily be tricked into easiness, laziness, fear. Program your mind to hard work, discipline.
• Rest at the end, not in the middle.
• Why fear, if help can be provided in the worse case.

#1.2 Get into the zone, shut out everything else, and control the uncontrollable.

• The zone is the extreme focus state you go into. Zero distraction. Even thinking is a distraction. Only the task at hand is important. You don’t think, you operate, you execute.
• MJ had an extreme level of focus.
• When you’re in the zone, you are calm, in control, fully immersed.
• Don’t confuse emotions, with the quiet anger inside of you. Emotions take you out of your Zone. Always stay steady and steely. Turn it to energy instead of emotions.
• You’re not going emotional for your daily job, that’s the state you need to be in before matches. Calm, controlled, as nothing big is happening. Preparation is key. You did it WELL. It’s time to trust it.

#1.3 Know exactly who you are

• We’re born bad. Natural childish energy is shut down
• Our instincts are shut in our society. Just like the lion between his life in the jungle and in the zoo.

How to find your zone ?

• It’s abt being instinctive (operating, thinking instantaneously, with control)not impulsive (reacting instantaneously without controlling the move)
• Very quick, not in hurry.
• Study yourself and the competition so you can be a better Lion. With the killer instinct. To hurt.
• What would it feel like if you just let go of all the external pressure and expectations and JUST BE YOURSELF?
• Answer: I would feel relief, being in the moment, being prepared to enter the zone.

Quote: In order to have what you really want. You need to become who you really are.

• Page 125: I recognize myself as a Cleaner.
  Cleaners feel what they want.
• I am a pro. Trust your gut. Start training like a pro.

#1.4 Have a dark side that refuses to be good

• It is the part of you that refuses to be ordinary. The dark side is your fuel your energy.
• If you pursue the advice, be conventional, you’ll be ordinary, just like everyone else.
• Your dark side is your natural instincts, think of the lion in the jungle. It’s not good or bad, it’s just your nature. Allow it to act, free it.
• To activate it, you may think of the lust you feel for things you were taught you are not supposed to do or have.
• Make sure you always control your dark side, not the other way around.

Quote: You get to the best by taking huge risks others aren’t willing to take, because you rely on your instincts to know which risks aren’t risks at all.

#1.5 You’re not intimidated by the pressure, you thrive on it

• For cleaners, every moment is a high-pressure one.
• Don’t be content to wait until the last minute, cause you’ll be too safe, comfortable the rest of the time
• Relaxation is what you do when you can’t handle pressure.

Quote: High expectations. High pressure. High rewards. (You have to crave heights)

Quote: Minimal expectations. Minimal pressure. Low rewards. (But you’re safe)

• It’s my team. I own this.
• Cleaners never feel external pressure. They only trust what s inside them. Their instincts.
• Be the danger. Shake them. Go get some on ya. Go get dirty.

#1.6 When everyone hit the emergency button, they all look at you (p.168)

• Confidence is being able to tell when something is not working, adjusting, and keep trying to improve.
• Cockiness is not admitting you’re wrong. Trying to repeat the same thing over and over again.
• A cleaner is well prepared. He already considered a lot of variables before the battle, the mission.
• During the battle, he s not following the plan to a T, cause always things are going to throw balls at you. But still, it’s good to have a plan of attack at start.

Quote: You have to be willing to fail if you’re going to trust yourself to act from the gut, and then adapt as you go.

• You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
• A cleaner feels no pressure when he screws up and has no problem admitting when he s wrong. He can look you in the eyes and say “ I fucked up”.
• You can’t fix smth unless u admit it.
• Maturity. Experience. Practice. 3 keys. Know when to walk and when to go all off.
• A cleaner never wants to be locked into one plan. (I need to deal with this)

#1.7 Don’t compete with anyone. Find your opponent’s weakness and attack.
Quote: I own this. This is what I do. No hard feelings.

• Zero sensitivity to others. Attack. Dominate. Conquer.
• Encourage your teammates.

Quote: I’m not bringing my game down so you can look better. You brung your game up so you can look better.

• A great leader also knows that the best way to win is to put ppl in positions where they can truly excel. (Including himself)
• Stay positive. Have fun.
• Be prepared for the one-shot you’re taking at the game.
• Few ppl can be exceptional at what they do. So you have to experiment before you find the right result.
• Focus on your teammates’ strengths, not weaknesses.

Quote: The only way you can light others. Is to be lit yourself, from the inside.

#1.8 Make decisions. Not suggestions. Know the answers when everyone else is still asking questions.

• Don’t be paralyzed from overthinking, overanalyzing.
• The decision means engagement and responsibility. Not everybody wants to do that.
• Decide. Act.
• Make a plan. Execute.
• Overthinking imaginary scenarios just brings fear and anxiety.
• Good things come to those who WORK.
• Another point, don’t multitask. Be a laser cutter. Get great at one thing. Make sure that one thing is not staying busy haha.
• Cleaners have a high tolerance for physical and mental pain.

#1.9 You don’t have to love the work. But you’re addicted to the results.

• Kobe went to practice the day he got drafted. Not to celebrate.
• The way u make it to the top is not the way u make it in to the top.
• Only when you’re relentless, can you understand the determination to keep pursuing a target that never stops moving?
• I am supposed to be (one of) the best in the world.
• Anyone can start smth. Few can finish. Priorities change if you don’t constantly protect/defend them.
• Seek hard work, skills, and improving arsenal. Money will come. Don’t seek money for the sake of money. Careers are ruined doing that.

#1.10 You’d rather be feared than liked.
Quote : A Cleaner moves silently under the surface—he makes no waves, so you never know what he’s doing. You can’t see him or hear him. You may not even know who he is. But when he’s ready for you to find out, he does it with a tsunami that comes with no warning.

• Don’t be the guy worrying. Be the guy making everyone else worry.
• Physical excellence is not enough. Mental capacity, the ability to perform and stay in the zone during the game is crucial.
• Physique – Zone – Mind/physique trust are keys.
• Do you need to fit in? Really? I thought the whole point was to stand out.

Quote : You know what people say about you, and it just drives you harder. Let them hate you; it only shows their weakness and emotion and makes you more powerful. You don’t need friends; your friends need you. You know whom you can trust . . . and they’d better never let you down.

#1.11 You trust very few people and those you trust better never let you down.

• Make sure to have a good inner circle. No PHDs
• Surround yourself with ppl who tell you the truth
• A Cleaner never just hands over responsibility and says, “Here, do this.” Too much risk. He’ll test you first, maybe for fifteen minutes or fifteen years
• Can’t make things better unless you stop making them worse.

Quote : Cleaner Law: surround yourself with those who want you to succeed, who recognize what it takes to be successful. People who don’t pursue their own dreams probably won’t encourage you to pursue yours; they’ll tell you every negative thing they tell themselves.

• Beware of the Cleaner you cut loose; he’ll be back, and he’ll be stronger than he ever was.
• A Cleaner can listen to others and still make his own decisions

#1.12 You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want.

• Ppl said MJ failed to get back to his level he came back from a baseball sabbatical.
• How can you fail at smth that’s never been done? Good news haha
• If someone else did, then, with proper practice and commitment, you can do it as well !!
• Failure is what happens when u decide to fail, until then you are still in the combat trying to find other ways to get where you wanna be.
• Success and failure are mental.
• What really ppl mean by “you failed” is “If I were you, I would’ve felt like I failed”.
• Unexpected situations force you to make adjustments.
• No one starts at unstoppable.
• Always change directions and reduce to fit how other ppl define success or failure.

Quote : To me, success isn’t about how much money Ican make; it’s never been about that. Success is about doing things that no one else can do.

#1.13 You don’t celebrate your achievements because you always want more.

• A cleaner just wants to get back to work.
• Perform. Win. Done. (Celebrate.) Next.

Quote : I’m doing this, I’ll give up whatever I have to give up so I can do this, I don’t care what anyone thinks, and if there are consequences that affect the other parts of my life, I’ll deal with them when I have to.”